The Proper Way To Serenade A Girl Like Her
by hobicidal
Summary: You don't. Sad Gray Surge had to learn the hard way. ― Edo!Gruvia / [warning: contains very bad pick up lines]


How to serenade a girl like her?

The answer is simple; You _don't_.

(Unfortunately, Gray Surge had to learn the hard way.)

.

.

.

If it wasn't painstakingly obvious already, Juvia had the patience of a hungry polar bear (and the ferocity of one too), the temper of a lioness (with it's monthly visitor) and the kindness of an enraged _bull_.

Because of this, there was not another man he knew of that saw past her icy shell, not another that cared for her after they found out how easily angered she was, not another after they found out the 'all roses have thorns' theory had never been so startling _accurate_.

(Maybe there was no other _man_ , but was there another _woman_? He thinks not.)

So Gray often thinks to himself;

 _I wonder why Juvia's_ always _angry?_

 _Does Juvia have any siblings?_

 _What is Juvia's_ favourite _sweet?_

 _Does Juvia prefer bunnies or turtles?_

Gray reckons that he spends 70% of his time thinking about Juvia, stalking Juvia, sighing over Juvia or attempting (keyword: _attempting_ ) to talk to Juvia..

He's so hooked over her that the mere thought of her makes him sigh and shake his head, and it's horrible. In a pleasant way.

.

.

.

Once while they were alone on a quest (the Master pretty much _forced_ her, "Gray isn't all that useless, Juvia," he had said, watching her face melt into one of utter distaste), Gray had finally gotten the chance to talk to her without an audience.

It probably wasn't so romantic being crammed together in a bush (not that the leaves were _too_ prickly, but still), trying to hide from enemies.

"You know, Juvia-chan, I'm not actually crazy," he said meekly, peering at her curiously.

"Well, then _what are you_."

"I'm in love."

She turned away from him and focused on an overhanging branch, leaving him to see her side profile, the locks of perfectly styled blue hair arching away from her neck, slightly tousled by the greenery around her.

After that, they rescued a class of children from the bandits and she never spoke to him for the whole day, despite all his attempts.

But as he stared up at the sky, Gray decided it was worth it.

Ah. So that was why the sky seemed so grey, all the blue had escaped to Juvia's eyes.

.

.

.

"How can I make her love me?" he mutters to Cana one afternoon while they're drinking tea together at the guild.

Cana thinks for a while, before she sets down her teacup daintily.

"You play any instruments?" the brunette replies, eyes twinkling.

Gray nods.

"Why don't you _serenade_ her?"

"Serenade?"

"Like, sing to her! Play something with the instrument, something _romantic_ that'll make her feel _special_." she gushed, sighing in a feminine fashion. "That'll make her feel like she's the _only_ girl in the _world_."

"Then what about you, Cana?" he asks, curious about this existence thing.

"Just.. make her feel."

Sounds special enough.

"Kudos to you, Cana!"

And thus, he spends around three hours a day practicing an old folk's classic on the banjo (really such a _refined_ instrument) along with a few chords he decides to sing here and there.

.

.

.

It's midnight when Gray runs to Fairy Hills, one hand clutching a tattered instrument and the other one a small handful of bark (Not stones, because that'll break her window).

He throws the wood chips, a few at a time, watching the curtains stir and reveal a drowsy Juvia.

It doesn't escape Gray's attention that she looks very good with a lot of clothes on too. A fleece sweatshirt and pajama trousers. _Charming_.

At first she just looks confused, then her expression contorts to a frown, then one of pure, _livid_ fury as she sees him and the _dorky_ grin on his face, her own emotions obviously refusing to co-operate with her at the moment.

She hurriedly invites him in because she 'can't have people seeing him there like a lost puppy.'

(But really, she's read Romeo and Juliet enough to know the situation.)

.

.

.

Despite all his practicing, Gray screws up wonderfully and ends up squabbling in another language as Juvia sits there with a peeved look on her face, wondering what to do with him.

"Well, uhm, uh -" he searches himself for something to say to her.

"Juvia-chan! Did - did you know that you're 70% water? Well I'm thirsty!"

She shoots him a look so dark that he regrets his existence _entirely_ (well hashtag yolo).

"And.. Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams." the raven-haired male laughs nervously at her, feeling his cheeks blaze.

"You're already _in my home_." she spits.

"And how did you know where I live?"

Gray fails to comprehend how much her words sting and humiliate him.

"Hey..! Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death, Juvia-chan! So for my health and your precious one, JUST LOVE ME FOR GOODNESS S-!"

Her features suddenly contort to one that he'd never seen before, cutting him off as she chirps something back to him.

"Well, _Gray_ , if _I_ _could_ rearrange the alphabet.." his face lights up because he's read this somewhere.

"You'd put -"

He's cut off again and her face suddenly falls.

"I'd put 'U - R - A... D - I - C .. K' !"

And Gray finds it conflicting, hard to figure out whether to laugh or cry because damn, she's _hot_ when she's angry.

* * *

 **(p much inspired by Momo Cicerone [cries bc i have no edo-gruvia skill] )**


End file.
